you, me and a dog named boo.

2010-11-23T22:46:00.002+08:00

I don't know what happened to us.. One minute we're so in love, and the other minute we're fighting and screaming at each other.. We used to be so good together.. Is it work that made us the way we are now? Because we're both so busy all the time, we only have the weekends together and there's just not enough time for everything..

I just want all the fights to stop. I do love you. I just wish you felt it. I never meant to take you for granted. It hurts to hear you say that. I'm sorry if you felt that way. But I remember those things that really matter.

I really do.

2009-04-07T00:49:00.001+08:00

One day I want to be able to shop at Asos. And be able to buy something too.

2009-03-31T17:42:00.001+08:00

I realize now how fake it sounds when I say

'Don't worry; I'll be there for you.'

2009-01-05T22:01:00.001+08:00

It's been such a tiring day.

So, so tiring..

2008-12-22T18:22:00.000+08:00

becos it's never just the two of u.

2008-11-24T16:51:00.001+08:00

Two more freaking days.

2008-11-22T10:15:00.001+08:00

It's a sucky day today.

Lipstick Jungle's latest episode is not up yet.

I realized that instead of taking just ONE elective next semester besides two core modules, I have to take TWO. Just because I'm one AU short.

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Waste of time.

Hopefully I'll get both non-examinable.

Plus, I need to get back to studying for my next exams on Tues and Wed.

Life sucks.

Can't wait for exams to end.

2008-11-17T19:25:00.000+08:00

i think i'm going to set up another blog after..

my exams end

i find a new skin for it (or mb learn how to make one by myself)

i think of a new name for it

setting up another blog, i.e. deleting this one.

2008-11-17T19:24:00.001+08:00

haiz. sometimes i wish we never grew up.

2008-11-13T12:06:00.002+08:00

i want a 13-inch white macbook.

2008-11-08T18:07:00.002+08:00

i realized i haven't blogged in a long, long, long time - i guess it's not much of a habit now.

final exams are starting soon. again.

second last exam to my graduation. mixed feeling. but mostly sick of studying. probably will miss school, i know. but i think what i'll miss most are the free periods used for slacking, my classmates and friends, funny moments, teachers etc. nth much to do with schwork, actualli. if only there were no exams - i'd seriously rather have projects all the way than to have formal exams. they really drain the life out of you.

but i dun think i'm studying hard enough. definitely not. i stone at home much more than i study. my family's going out for dinner later tonight. usually when it's during exam period, i'd rather stay at home to study or rather, slack without my parents (usually mum) nagging my ears off. but today, it's almost like i'm finding an excuse not to study for the exam coming up (which is this friday btw). i wonder why. and this seems even stranger cos i should have felt the need to go out and spend time with my family when i was staying in hall instead of now, when i'm spending almost all my time at home (especially with my 3-day week timetable - go on, envy me~). hah.

oh well. but i'm hopefully going to finish studying everything by tonight or latest by tmr, then go thru the exam case again (they gave out the case before exam but it's going to be a closed-book exam) and apply the concepts tht i've learnt so far (if any - haha) to the case.

mb meeting pow to discuss the case and most prob panic and worry together. i mean, what are friends for, rite? ;)

2008-10-02T21:07:00.000+08:00

haiz. today's presentation sucked.

totally. haiz.....

oh wells. gotta go do lotsa stuff now! move it~ move it~

2008-09-24T22:17:00.002+08:00

it's unrealistic. really. i mean, watching lipstick jungle makes me realize that i like that kind of lifestyle. but it's impossible to attain. and it's not just because i'm being pessimistic.

i mean, fashion designer? magazine editor-in-chief? head of a movie company? COME ON.

i wanna be successful too. and be bitchy and get away with it.

2008-09-23T18:48:00.002+08:00

idiots! they're all idiots! i hate him. i hate her. and i hate her too.

ARGH!!!!!!!!! 17 October here i come~~~~~~~

2008-09-11T22:16:00.001+08:00

jiayou!!!!!

dun give up!!!

2008-09-02T17:28:00.001+08:00

it's time to concentrate and focus on what really matters.

2008-08-22T11:47:00.002+08:00

i. hate. my. 205. grp.

honestly. esp two of them - WP and AP. seriously. i mean, as a guy, shouldn't u take ANY initiatives at all? but ok, this argument isn't going to be gender-based. as a grp member, shouldn't the both of u take ANY initiatives at all? yup, tht's better.

they dun do nuts. WP practically stones in class. and i hate his jacket. so ugly. i hate him the most. he doesnt read any articles, prepare anything for class and i hate him.

we were supposed to put in 'takeaways' for our slides to reflect wht we had learned and whatever knowledge we wanted to leave the class with.

he's the onli takeaway i'd consider.

pls! take him away!!!!!

2008-08-03T12:04:00.002+08:00

argh!!!! today's the last day of my last school holiday!!!! :(

it suddenly feels worse than i thought.

and 205 seems like a killer - sch hasnt even started and already we're assigned proj teams and during the first week there's proj discussion and submission of minutes of tht proj meeting. haiz. oh wells.

better enjoy my last day!!

but still got to give tuition at 5pm. xian.

2008-07-28T12:57:00.003+08:00

haiya. need to register for driving basic theory test soon. therefore need to go down to Popular this week to get the two theory books. hmmm i still dunno whether i shld go for private or school lessons. private will be much cheaper, i think, but will take much longer also, cos their exams or lessons are always scheduled to be later than school ones. hmmm i dunno if i'm in a hurry to pass also lei. i was thinking of taking private, but my mummy says take school will be better. haiz. oh wells.

argh school's starting next week le.... boo hoo. feel like living in denial.. it's not the school lessons tht i dread. it's the exams, i guess. and when there's school, time passes super quickly!! soon, it'll be MY turn for convocation. but the graduation dinner should be fun. haha. but i dun feel like working. it'll be so mundane when it comes to working life. there'll be no end to it!!

i guess it's different for internship cos i can actually see the end to it. but for working life, unless i have a concrete plan for the future and stick to it no matter wht, there'll be no end to it. but then again, even if i have a concrete plan and intend to stick to it, nothing's for certain. plans are bound to change.

to think we were all so naive in the past. like in primary school, we'd (especially the girls) always sign off autograph books with 'friends forever'. i mean, come on, how many of these friends do we still keep in touch with? none, for me. sad, right.

and it's even sadder that at some pt of time we actually realize subconsciously tht there's no such thing as 'friends forever'. subconsciously. we dun even realize the switch from signing off as 'friends forever' to signing off as 'yours sincerely', 'cheers' etc. mb if we realized the switch, we would make a greater effort to stay friends with those people? i dunno. i doubt it, though.

2008-07-20T11:38:00.003+08:00

looks like DC and Marvel are getting the big bucks!

the incredible hulk, batman, iron man etc.

i'd recommend the first two movies. 'cos i really hated the ending of iron man. but i can't wait for the third movie of the incredible hulk - where iron man and the incredible hulk will fight it out. oh and the incredible hulk doesnt look all tht ugly either.

just watched batman yst. my gdness, heath ledger not only acted as the joker, he became the joker. but i'm still interested in how the joker actually came about - as in, in the comics. some pple say it's cos he fell in a vat of chemicals and came out with green hair, white skin and really red lips.

but then again, if it's really the case, then why is it that onli his face is white? hmm.

does anyone know the real reason?

actually, i pity the joker.

craziness is in everyone, really. it's just how much u're willing to let it come out.

and pple who dun admit it, are just afraid that by admitting it, they're already letting out a bit of their inherent craziness.

2008-06-12T22:35:00.002+08:00

i've realized that i prefer work much more than to studying. but who knows if this will change once i start working for real. i'll most prob miss sch life when tht happens. i'm never content.

havent bought keegan his present yet lei. oops. aiya but he almost nvr reads my blog de. haha but if u are, sorry!! but i knw wht to get you alr (i think), so just wait for it! :)

oh it's friiiiiiiiiday tmr!! and aftr tmr, can start counting down le!! 3 more weeks!! my holiday!! the onli good thing abt sch, in my opinion. haha

2008-05-27T19:59:00.000+08:00

it's tues. three more days to the wkend!

5 & 1/2 more weeks! yay! counting down!

but i dun wanna get results back.. i'm sure i did very very badly for 202.. not that i did fantastic for my other two subjects. haiz. :(

2008-05-23T13:11:00.000+08:00

You are The Empress

Beauty, happiness, pleasure, success, luxury, dissipation.

The Empress is associated with Venus, the feminine planet, so it represents,
beauty, charm, pleasure, luxury, and delight. You may be good at home
decorating, art or anything to do with making things beautiful.

The Empress is a creator, be it creation of life, of romance, of art or business. While the Magician is the primal spark, the idea made real, and the High Priestess is the one who gives the idea a form, the Empress is the womb where it gestates and grows till it is ready to be born. This is why her symbol is Venus, goddess of beautiful things as well as love. Even so, the Empress is more Demeter, goddess of abundance, then sensual Venus. She is the giver of Earthly gifts, yet at the same time, she can, in anger withhold, as Demeter did when her daughter, Persephone, was kidnapped. In fury and grief, she kept the Earth barren till her child was returned to her.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

TOO BORED FOR WORDS.

2008-05-23T12:12:00.002+08:00

ARGH. it's another boring day.

can't seem to feel liberated even though it's friday and the end of the week.. next wk's gonna feel even longer. i can just imagine. haiz. after today it'll be 6 more weeks to go! then i'll be liberated frm this stupid and useless attachment.

today i'm all by myself at the client's place at changi! all the other seniors on the team are at raffles, having some sorta meeting. since i wun haf anything to do in the office, i offered to come straight to the client's place and then they can come down after their meeting. well, it's becos i had at least something to do here at changi than at the main office, where i would simply stone for very very very long. but right now i'm just waiting for some confirmation from the employees and they're taking sooooooo long. so in the meantime while i'm waiting for tht confirmation as well as waiting for the seniors to come, i'm getting a headache just from stoning alone. haiz. i'm like, trying all sorts of ways to find myself things to do. i even got myself an eye candy at work (who is an employee at the client's place and is quite cute la, actually, in a girlish kinda way. but he bites his nails. ew.) ANW, it's lunch time and he's in a diff room anw. so unless i find another excuse to pass by his room, i'm stuck in this small room with a puny table till the other seniors arrive. i didnt go for lunch with the employees cos it'll just be downright weird la, since usually EY staff haf lunch together instead with the employees. so i'm here in the small room by myself, eating the breakfast tht i bought but didnt quite finish. and i brought bread from home too, so it's not so bad. but it's so lonely. and the worst thing is i dun mind being alone, but at least give me some more work to do la... haiz.

6 more weeks!!!

6 more weeks!!!

6 more weeks!!!

2008-05-14T20:00:00.001+08:00

training's been sooooooooo tough!

haiz. i'm so fearful that aftr being assigned to our individual mentors tmr and if the mentor asks me to do smth for him/her, i wun haf any idea how to do anything. then he/she is gonna think i'm stupid. :S

haiz. mb i shd review the notes later. but i sooo wanna just sit back and relax. oh wells. it's wednesday! soon it'll be friday and then sat!

next mon's a public holiday! yay! longer wkend! :)

can't wait.

2008-05-09T21:58:00.003+08:00

totally bumming out at home.

watching sidereel every single day! and tht's if i'm not going out. haha.

but i wun get bored of it. i wun even haf enough time to enjoy all these to the max, becos PA starts like, next monday. and soooooo not looking forward to it.

i mean, i haf almost nth to wear! nth appropriate, i mean.

and wht if i suck at my job?

and wht if they hate me and there goes my chance of ever working there again?

haiz. oh well. at least it'll keep me busy.

besides, i'm running out of shows to watch. getting kinda sick and tired of waiting for the uploading of gossip girl episodes.

2008-04-29T20:46:00.002+08:00

woah no more exams!! yay! :)

finally! aftr one whole long stretch!!

went k-ing today. so tiring. john and i were practically nodding our heads off. hmmm strange that aftr not being in the same class as someone for almost a year, the gap btwn two grps of pple can be so vast. but oh well, the gap wasn't exactly tiny to begin with. next wk got another k-ing session, this time with the closer bunch of classmates. hopefully it'll be better than today's session. heh. plus i had a sore throat! wht bad timing. shld've had it during the exams instead of after.

ok updates.

1. gg to lulu's bd party this friday! yay!

2. need to do loads of stuff like.. PACKING MY ROOM! IT'S TIME TO GO HOME!!!

packing - argh. tedious chore. going home for the holidays (gosh i sound like some foreigner) - sounds like the best thing in the world what with the stupid freakishly hot and humid weather these few days.

WHY HAS IT BEEN SO BLOODY WARM THESE FEW DAYS??

and it looks as though it juz might continue. damn it.

3. need to d/l some songs. been living in a cave for a while. stupid exams.

4. need to enjoy my holidays or whtever's left of it before my internship starts. stupid PA. go there and be a high class waitress i bet. or admin assistant. xian. hopefully got work to do and tht i will get to talk to lulu and wan zhen during the PA or it'll be damn boring. wan zhen'll be in a diff dept so it'll be a bit harder to catch hold of her since it seems like it's nvr off-peak for taxes. so i juz hope tht they dun place lulu in a department or under a supervisor so that we're like two poles apart.

and hopefully i learn smth so i can actually write something in the stupid log book.

everyone seems to want to go for exchange. to smu. gosh. i wonder why. (haha juz kidding, naf)

but john shouldnt be going. neither will lulu nor wanzhen. whew. at least i wun be alone. i can't afford to go on an exchange prog and freeze my GPA. i need to pull them up. esp aftr tht disastrous 202 paper (my first exam paper - the one i terribly screwed up). so yeah - will be staying in ntu till i graduate next may (hopefully).

5. shit. need to re-schedule my tuitions again. it'll start again. plus i think on top of the 3 tuitions i'm handling right now, i might need to handle another one, it being a personal favour for my mum's fren's p6 daughter. ok la. p6. shouldnt be tht bad. but it's so time consuming. haiz. but can't say no to mummy, can i?

ok. gotta go eat dinner and hopefully sidereel's faster to watch at home. damn slow in hall la. then need to pack my room.

yay! will be gg out tmr!! spending the whole day out!! :)

2008-04-27T15:52:00.002+08:00

omg. i haven't been blogging for such a long time~ must be the exams. anw i'm gg to have my last paper~ on tues.

but i need to study a lot harder than wht i'm doing now. cos i totally am not paying enough attention to whatever i'm studying! i dunno if anything's gg into my head and it's freaking me out.

shit.

anw, read this:

'Oysters may excite the libido, but there is nothing like a hearty breakfast laced with sugar to boost a woman's chances of conceiving a son, according to a study released Wednesday.

Likewise, a low-energy diet that skimps on calories, minerals and nutrients is more likely to yield a female of the human species, says the study, published in Proceedings of the Royal Society B: Biological Sciences, Britain's de facto academy of sciences.

Fiona Mathews of the University of Exeter in Britain and colleagues wanted to find out if a woman's diet has an impact on the sex of her offspring.

So they asked 740 first-time mothers who did not know if their unborn foetuses were male or female to provide detailed records of eating habits before and after they became pregnant. The women were split into three groups according to the number calories they consumed per day around the time of conception.

Fifty-six percent of the women in the group with the highest energy intake had sons, compared to 45 percent in the least-well fed cohort.

Beside racking up a higher calorie count, the group who produced more males were also more likely to have eaten a wider range of nutrients, including potassium, calcium and vitamins C, E and B12.

The odds of an XY, or male outcome to a pregnancy also went up sharply "for women who consumed at least one bowl of breakfast cereal daily compared with those who ate less than or equal to one bowl of week," the study reported.

These surprising findings are consistent with a very gradual shift in favor of girls over the last four decades in the sex ratio of newborns, according to the researchers.

Previous research has shown -- despite the rising epidemic in obesity -- a reduction in the average energy uptake in advanced economies. The number of adults who skip breakfast has also increased substantially.

"This research may help to explain why in developed countries, where many young women choose low calorie diets, the proportion of boys is falling," Mathews said.

The study's findings, she added, could point to a "natural mechanism" for gender selection.

The link between a rich diet and male children may have an evolutionary explanation.

For most species, the number of offspring a male can father exceeds the number a female can give birth to. But only if conditions are favorable -- poor quality male specimens may fail to breed at all, whereas females reproduce more consistently.

"If a mother has plentiful resources, then it can make sense to invest in producing a son because he is likely to produce more grandchildren than would a daughter," thus contributing to the survival of the species, explains Mathews.

"However, in leaner times having a daughter is a safer bet."

While the mechanism is not yet understood, it is known from in vitro fertilisation research that higher levels of glucose, or sugar, encourage the growth and development of male embryos while inhibiting female embryos.'

http://sg.news.yahoo.com/afp/20080423/tts-health-diet-sex-children-c1b2fc3.html

Looks like guys are the one who are made out of sugar and spice and everything nice. haha

2008-04-17T15:36:00.000+08:00

i totally flunked today's exams.

haiz.

i just hope i didnt do too badly.

i suck at this.

i suck at life.

hope i wun feel like this aftr my next exam..

2008-04-11T00:13:00.001+08:00

i miss home!

wanna go home and stop all these tuition assignments.. mb except for the thursday one. at least it feels fulfilling and i dun feel so stressed teaching these kids.

i miss home.

going home tmr!! :)))))))))

2008-04-07T20:41:00.000+08:00

i miss home.

i knw i'm supposed to be mugging in sch, staying up late and staying in hall during the wkends to mug in Canteen A..

but i miss home.

i really do. :(

2008-04-06T20:28:00.002+08:00

OH. MY. GOD.

sitting at the canteen makes me feel so much more stressed up.

i'm in canteen A now. supposed to be doing up my 214 slides.

but i see so many pple slogging their guts out and studying so intensively that it makes me wanna pee.

gosh. it's freaking scary.

then again, mb i want to pee cos i drank too much.

hahaha

2008-04-02T23:27:00.002+08:00

Mama tells me I shouldn't bother
That I ought to stick to
Another man
A man that surely deserves me
But
I think you do

- Love Fool -

2008-03-30T21:37:00.001+08:00

just to clarify, the earlier post was just a poem i made up about anorexia. but dun worry there's nth wrong with me. i love food too much. haha

it was just a bout of inspiration and i wanted to procrastinate and not do work.

muahaha.

2008-03-30T21:32:00.002+08:00

pretty faces staring out at you
in those porcelain doll frames
breakable, aren't they?
is it red inside, too?

it's time to eat
come on, you're not fat
it's ok
baby, please eat

run
i gotta run
please don't punish me
sorry i had dinner

pretty faces staring out at you
in those porcelain doll frames
breakable, aren't they?
is it red inside, too?

2008-03-29T17:25:00.002+08:00

i think i got a fish bone stuck in my throat.

but it's kinda elusive.

2008-03-26T23:04:00.002+08:00

let the nightmares stop.

sometimes i just wanna crouch in a corner

and let the truth corner me.

let the truth cover me.

strip me bare.

leave the lies out in the cold to die.

keep it warm in that little knapsack of a brain

close it shut.

open the windows.

let the vultures fly in - to devour the truth and spit out the lies.

for the lies are what remains of my sanity.

2008-03-26T14:41:00.001+08:00

haiz. at a down point and i dunno how to retrieve my life.

how to retrieve the life that i had and how to pursue the life that i want.

how do i do tht.

i have no idea as to how to go about doing it.

i have screwed up so badly that i hate myself.

i dun believe i'm gd at anything.

and i suck at my course.

i want to juz slp my whole life away.

aftr all, there's no point in trying.

2008-03-18T21:07:00.001+08:00

looking forward to good friday. :)

2008-03-17T22:23:00.002+08:00

Picture yourself 30 years from now.
What is it that you want?
If it's the way you're telling me,
Then go!
But please don't take the easy way out!

It's not that simple!
Either way, someone will get hurt.

Damn it!
Stop thinking about what other people want!
Stop thinking about what I want,
Stop thinking about what your parents want!
What do YOU want?

Damn it.
What do you want?

2008-03-13T21:37:00.002+08:00

you're so nice and you're so smart
you're such a good friend
i have to break your heart
i'll tell you that i love you
then i'll tear your world apart

just pretend i didn't tear your world apart

-So Nice So Smart-
=Kimya Dawson=

If i was a flower growing wild and free
All i want is you to be my sweet honeybee
If i was a tree growing tall and green
All i want is you to shave me and be my leaves

All i want is you
Will you be my bride
Take me by the hand
And stand by my side

All i want is you
Will you stay with me
Hold me in your arms
And sway me like the sea

If you were a wink
I'd be a nod
If you were a seed
Well i'd be a pod

If you were the floor
I'd wanna be the rug
If you were a kiss
I know i'd be a hug

All i want is you
Will you be my bride
Take me by the hand
And stand by my side

All i want is you
Will you stay with me
Hold me in your arms
And sway me like the sea

If you were the wood
I'd be the fire
If you were the love
I'd be the desire

All i want is you
Will you be my bride
Take me by the hand
And stand by my side

All i want is you
Will you stay with me
Hold me in your arms
And sway me like the sea

-All I Want Is You-
=Barry Louis Polister=

2008-03-13T21:04:00.002+08:00

i'm so fed up by this grp mate who does virtually nothing.

when she does come for meetings she juz stones and waits for time to pass. u wun hear any squeak from her. then most of the times she's either late or doesnt come. and the part she's supposed to do - it's like, half a page long and mostly extracted from the textbook. no analysis nor evaluation. i might as well do it myself. it could have taken a grand total of 5 minutes.

if this continues, i'm gonna write to the teacher. i dun give a shit abt her feelings if she doesnt give a shit abt anyone else's. i've been holding back any comments cos she's my fren's close fren. but the diff is: my fren does all the work she can. i dun understand how busy she can get. unless like u're half studying and half working la.

but if u've got time to paint both ur toenails and fingernails, u haf the time to do more than a half-page ~~report~~ summary.

2008-03-12T21:45:00.002+08:00

i've been getting up earli almost every morn these days (well, at least for this week)
-- not with the help of someone, though.

i've been slping late almost every night these days (at least for most of my uni days)
-- not with the help of someone, either!

but i've been surviving all this shit for a long, long time.
-- thanks to that someone. :)

2008-03-11T20:55:00.002+08:00

will it STOP raining?

hellooooo~

i'm coughing my guts out here.

i hate coughing fits. i nvr thought i'd hate it more than having the flu. actualli i hate them both.

i hate it and i hate the projs and deadlines and presentations and reports and exams.

i hate them through and through.

2008-03-10T12:48:00.002+08:00

ooooooooohhhhhhhhh got 202 quiz tmr.... die.. so many things to read and i'm so slpy~~~~

i'm done with the flu! AGAIN! actualli more sore throat and cough than flu. and it's sickening, cos i get the coughing fits like, every once or twice in a year only and it has to occur now. not when i'm, like, dying for an MC so that i can skip class or smth.

oh well. but the weather's nice today. got a slight drizzle. quite breezy..

and very slp-inducing.

need to read all my 202 cases or else i'll fail tmr's quiz.

why oh why.

my oh my.

and u can't even lie to urself and be in self-denial, thinking tht life will get better. cos it has gotten to a pt that even ur sub-conscious self knws tht it ain't gonna happen.

and even tht irritating little voice in ur head thinks so too.

2008-03-09T23:53:00.000+08:00

deep down inside,

we all want to believe we're hard core.

2008-03-06T22:02:00.002+08:00

i got into EY's internship program!

i finished part 1 of the IT proj!

i survived today!

so many things to celebrate.

so little time.

2008-03-04T20:54:00.001+08:00

today has been such a tiring day.

haiz. so many things i had to do!

had a sucky quiz this morn. study or nvr study also the same.. i think there might be smth wrong with my concepts. cos i didnt realize some of the things i wrote were completely off tangent and that i need to revise my concepts more clearly.

since i can't be as smart, i gotta be more hardworking. i lived by tht principle. used to, at least. but ever since i came to uni, i lost tht goal in mind. hmmm i wonder y.

but now i'm going to start establishing it again.

then aftr the test i had a 2 hr lesson straight. then after tht i had lunch and then had to meet my grp to discuss 213 proj tht needs to be handed in tmr by 5pm. after i've finished updating here i need to go do it again. gotta c wht needs to be improved, format etc.. u knw, those little minute detailing portions.

btw i downloaded mozilla. i dunno y i took so long to do it. my whole internet browser window's PINK now! yay! so happy. haha couldnt find a decent purple backgrnd la, tht's y. but pink is so soothing to the eyes, dun u think?

haha aftr my 213 i need to touch on my 202 and my 214. 202 more impt cos tmr need to discuss le. haiz. okie then.

gotta run!

2008-03-02T22:48:00.001+08:00

did u knw?

tht shopping by urself makes time pass damn quickly?

and tht suddenly all tht u want to shop for would be shopped for in a matter of a few minutes?

tht suddenly u want to sit down somewhere and be unnoticed for that few minutes.

2008-02-27T19:13:00.002+08:00

huh...... my ernst and young interview.. FLOPPED! haiz. she asked like, totally irrelevant qns, can.. mb to test my stress mgt ba.. i didn't do tht badly, i suppose. but definitely not gd enough to get selected out of 17 others. or was it 18? argh, whtever it is, i dun think i can get any attachment at phase I, even though maersk hasnt posted their internship list and results yet. cos i seriously doubt that i can get tht either. since they're taking so long juz to update the list, it shld mean tht there are a lot of applicants for the job. either that or they're lazy. or they're pulling out of the system, wasting one of my choices. haiz.

oh well. better not think too much alr.

but i hope i get an internship position at EY. then at leastmy 2 sore and huge blisters at the side of my feet would be worth every bit. hah.

ok. going to eat dinner then do up my system flowchart for the IT proj le. need to study 201 again tonight. progress has been slow. very very slow.

2008-02-25T17:31:00.002+08:00

you're a part time lover and a full time friend
the monkey on your back is the latest trend
i don't see what anyone can see in anyone else
but you

i kiss you on the brain in the shadow of the train
kiss you all starry-eyed, my body swinging from side to side
i don't see what anyone can see in anyone else
but you

here is the church and here is the steeple
we sure are cute for two ugly people
i don't see what anyone can see in anyone else
but you

you are always trying to keep it real
i'm in love with the way you feel
i don't see what anyone can see in anyone else
but you

-Anybody Else But You-
=Moldy Peaches=

2008-02-21T11:29:00.001+08:00

focus. focus. focus.

2008-02-19T18:40:00.002+08:00

whtever i said in the last post still stands. worse still, even i don't have enough time for MYSELF!

how is tht even remotely possible? i think i'm a v self-centred person, so if even i dun haf time for myself.. hmmm.

but on the bright side, i'm gg for a movie with shirley this sunday. juz waiting for her to pick a place now. sunday tickets so expensive!! but wht to do? other than tht day, the rest of the next wk is fully booked, leaving the next wkend free. which would then come to the same situation, right? -_-"

next wk i gotta focus on these major things:
1. preparation for 201 quiz
2. IT report (part 1)
3. 202 group proj and planning of the 'board meeting'
4. 213 revision (since i'm sooo lagging!)

this is just the tentative list, though the 4 things listed there are confirmed. haiz. but thk gdness hall prod would be over this sat! yay!

and i'm starting to give tuition again! starting this sunday, 2-3.30pm, at yishun. then from next wk onwards, it'll be on fridays instead of sundays. so i can juz pop by before going home for the wkend.

i'm so proud of myself. went thru 80+ pages of AB214 text. so damn boring la. still got another topic to go on 'tone'. then need to review the 'biz presentations' topic again cos i read it so damn long ago.

aftr tht i need to read up on NEJ. whew. tht one got 3 chapters to read, 1 chapter to recap.

ARGH!

tmr got 8.30am class some more.

ARGH!

but thk gdness i have an excuse letter for skipping the second half of my day's lessons. becos of hall prod rehearsals. actually i'm juz lazy to go to newton by myself aftr class ends at arnd 5.30pm tmr. so i wanna catch the chartered bus at 2.15pm that leaves from hall to newton.

YAY!!

ok. wish me gd luck.

P.S. i havent even gotten my results for my professional attachment! everyone else seems to knw! :(

P.P.S. i hope i get wht i want... :)

2008-02-17T19:39:00.001+08:00

nobody has any time for me... :(

2008-02-14T16:30:00.001+08:00

how can this be? :(

2008-02-06T10:38:00.001+08:00

aiya.. i feel so guilty. skipped two classes this wk le. both from the same module. aa202. xian. mon it was cos i couldnt wake up. and i wanted to reserve energy to study for tues's test. which they postponed in the end due to the double-booking of the LTs. so stupid. so now the test's going to be after chinese new yr. xian. anw, i wanted to go for the 10.30 class today. but i woke up and found out that i had sore eyes. one sore eye, actually. but now it has actually subsided!

why oh why?

i muz haf rubbed my eyes a bit too much yst. oops. but haiz. this will be the last lesson i skip in this whole semester. wun ever do it again.

feels so guilty. :S

2008-01-17T00:03:00.000+08:00

i wanna watch narnia!! but my wkends seem to be so full.. and so are my wkends.

plus who's gonna watch it with me??

naf, stop being so busy! heh. :P

anw, keegan's coming back this wk instead!! on the 18th jan!! 11.30pm!!! :)

yay. can't wait. but i can't go pick him out. i've got my cousin's wedding the very next day. sheesh.

2008-01-15T19:25:00.000+08:00

I still hear your voice, when you sleep next to me.
I still feel your touch in my dreams.
Forgive me my weakness, but I don't know why.
Without you it's hard to survive.

Cause everytime we touch, I get this feeling.
And everytime we kiss I swear I could fly.
Can't you feel my heart beat fast, I want this to last.
Need you by my side.

Cause everytime we touch, I feel this static.
And everytime we kiss, I reach for the sky.
Can't you hear my heart beat so.
I can't let you go.
Want you in my life.

Your arms are my castle, your heart is my sky.
They wipe away tears that I cry.
The good and the bad times, we've been through them all.
You make me rise when I fall.

Cause everytime we touch, I get this feeling.
And everytime we kiss I swear I could fly.
Can't you feel my heart beat fast, I want this to last.
Need you by my side.

Cause everytime we touch, I feel this static.
And everytime we kiss, I reach for the sky.
Can't you hear my heart beat so.
I can't let you go.
Want you in my life.

Cause everytime we touch, I get this feeling.
And everytime we kiss I swear I could fly.
Can't you feel my heart beat fast, I want this to last.
Need you by my side.

-Everytime We Touch-
--Cascada--

2008-01-15T19:04:00.000+08:00

haiz. i wanna go out!!!!!!!

but i've got no money!!!!!!!!

how?????????

guess the logical answer would be: then DON'T go out.

haiz. haiz. haiz.

hall production's coming soon. hopefully everyone's ready. hopefully i'm ready. the stage sucks and i think the financial controller ain't doing his job properly. cos - how can 10 bloody wooden cubes cost $300??? it's so expensive!! shit, man.

oh no~~ can't sell tickets. i hope i can count on my family, at the very least.

2008-01-14T18:03:00.001+08:00

aiya i am so fed up with the stupid crunchyroll thingy. it loads so slowly in hall!! :( at home so fast la.. can watch while it's loading. xian..

youtube even worse, subtitles in spanish. hello??

three dramas i wanna watch now:
1. witch yoo hee
2. coffee prince
3. romantic princess

i wanna watch!!!!!!!! :(

2008-01-07T17:55:00.000+08:00

first day of school!! technically my first lesson's supposed to be today - monday at 8.30am. however, AA202 onlu starts next wk! therefore my first lesson will start at 10.30am tmr, with a AA201 lect!

just bought the AA201 notes and printed the notes of other subjects, whtever's available. my gdness. the no. of readings are terrible la. i spent $14++ printing notes, $13.40 buying notes, $14++ buying files and correction tapes and $8 for printer ink cartridge. whew.

and i havent even bought my textbooks yet. xian. need to get them by end of this wk. it's only the first day of sch and i alr feel like i'm lagging.

and i heard tht many people in my class did quite well for last exam. haiz... need to buck up once more!

today still got phototaking session blah blah for hall prod. think got no rehearsals. hope so. i'm so tired and lazy tht i think i'll juz haf instant noodles as dinner.

argh. tmr start sch le..

but i can't wait for 26 jan! when keegan comes back! yay! :)

2008-01-01T22:15:00.000+08:00

hmph. sch's starting soon! too soon, if u ask me. but of cos, no one's asking me. but i'm sure everyone feels the same way too.

too many movies i havent watched, too many things i havent done yet.

xian.

2007-12-28T21:15:00.000+08:00

ohhh juz got back from malacce. it was so fun there!! especially with all my frenz!! but i missed my family and i missed home. singapore's a much better place to live in - tht's wht i learn every time i get back from a holiday. but unfortunately, tht's always the fastest thing i forget, too. aiya. next wk still got hall prod. damn xian. and then sch will start alr. so muz take the time to go out more often for next wk, before sch starts. i got my results alr. they're not half bad. they made my GPA go up by quite a helpful bit, but it still isnt enough. still need to push harder for the following semesters.

hmmm i need to go bathe and relax. haha muz nua a lot more before sch starts. haiz. but i think i'll still nua when sch starts.

i didnt buy anything when i was in malacca. not for myself anw. i only bought a small bolster for my sister cos it has her fav teddy bear from mr. bean - the animated series. haha. other than tht i onli spent money on food. which is a fact i am sooooo proud of. see? i'm not such a spendthrift aftr all. i've learnt how to save money. :)

oh i am going to watch a movie tmr!! yay!! can't wait!! :)

2007-12-23T11:25:00.000+08:00

yay! keegan's coming back soon!

though i'm not sure when's the exact date when he's coming back. any idea, guys? naf? :)

2007-12-21T20:57:00.000+08:00

i hate the world becos of its prejudices.

almost everything in the world is fake.

fake conversations. fake relationships. fake smiles. fake laughter. fake tears. fake personalities.

FAKE.

wht's wrong with being different? i'm different, and so is everyone else. but how can people accept their own differences with ease, passing it off as 'uniqueness' and others' differences as weird and of a different status as themselves?

i'll be frank and risk govt eradication. race issues. my brother asked me not once nor twice, 'why do you have so many indian and malay friends?' i dun blame him - at least he's being frank and genuinely curious abt it. the reason for him asking it is cos i haf haf a mix of frenz from diff races from both sec sch and jc. my best fren is nafeesa, this malay chick that isnt as malay-ish as she looks. haha ;) and i've got frenz like saira, june (short for juneeta), ben and so many other close frenz who are not chinese.

why? does being Chinese mean u're more superior than the rest? people always stereotype - and no offence to whtever i'm saying now cos i dun believe in it anw - tht indians are smelly and they cheat people's money and tht they're violent and hit their wives blah blah. but hey, so many Chinese have killed and chopped people's bodies (both women and children) up. So wht's really the difference? to me, all humans are savages. ALL. and we're all human. ALL.

and pls. even if it is true it surely has something to do with the way different people are brought up. right? i mean, if indian men in india really do abuse their wives, it must be becos india's a less developed ctry tht still thinks that women ought to stay at home and inhale chimney fumes all day. look at Singapore - so refined and cultured and so much so that there are still so many perverts lying around. my bra got stolen a wk ago, may i add. by gdness knws who.

and wht people say about malays. being dumb and tht only a minority goes to university. if u ask me, it's a stupid and obviously groundless thing to say. the recent top PSLE scorer had the highest score in all of Singapore's history - and it's by a malay girl. but i mean, who cares, right? nobody'll rmb tht. everyone'll rmb malays as the minority in university. i agree. it's true. there are very, very few malays in university, at least, in NTU. but tht may juz mean that they prob knw wht they really want to do by now, without wallowing in books and tests and exams. and as i've said before, it's probably the way they were brought up.

oh wells. but i guess if i never had frenz from other races, i might nvr would haf thought of such a perspective. yup. aftr all, my parents also think the Chinese are more superior than the others, and not to mention cleaner, smarter, better, nicer and i-dunno-wht-er. and some of my frenz and the people i knw, they might act like they're ok with it all, but it may all be fake.

FAKE.

2007-12-13T10:26:00.001+08:00

realized i havent been updating for a while. dunno if i mentioned it, but i'll be gg to malacca with my frenz!! wait a min, i think i did mention it. anw,had subject registration two days ago. couldnt get one of my core, so in the end i haf a 4-day week, tht is, aftr i'm done with ab228a after 6 wks. but the bad news is, i haf A LOT of 8.30am classes. xian. and tues and fri both haf 4 hr straight classes. but wed is the worst, i reckon. 8.30 - 6.30pm classes, with onli 2 hrs break in btwn. great. but at least for tht period i'd haf lunch with my classmates, which is a gd thing. i hate being alone for lunch. in fact, for any occassion at all. it feels so lonely and.. sad tht lunch or any meal has to be eaten alone.

hm.. gg to c doctor ltr aftr lunch. not feeling well.

things i haf to do today:
1. update blog, charge my handphone, play games
2. haf lunch
3. pack up bag (bring lappie, two fiction books in hall, script, phone charger)
4. go to see sch doc
5. get contacts from JP ($125!!)
6. go home

and stay home till sun night/mon morn/afternoon. it all depends.

the reason why i'm gg home on a thurs is becos my family might wanna go to malaysia tmr. but then i haf to go and renew my passport. eh, i mean collect. i alr renewed it last wk. so i'm supposed to collect it this wk. but i need my mum with me cos she has some pink slip tht the passport authority sent to my home add. yup. muz go lavender. argh so far. xian.

i hope it stops raining. it gets so cold at night it gets hard to slp sometimes. :S

ARGH i've got soooooooo many mosquito bites. and they're soooooooooo itchy. but i MUST STOP scratching cos they leave such ugly scars on my alr ugly legs.

ooo keegan's coming back this jan. can't wait!!

2007-12-06T17:15:00.000+08:00

argh the holidays have barely started n alr it feels tht it's abt to end!! why~~ :(

had the first hall prod rehearsal today. it wasn't too bad. interesting, as i had thought and imagined it to be. hopefully it'll continue to be interesting further on.

oh and i'm going on a holiday trip with my sec sch frenz!! :) naf, marie, ben and jz. oh and ben's gf, too. yup! :) we wun be going anywhere too far la.. only gg to malacca. but hey, it's better than nothing! :) juz that i wish.. i hope..

oh wells. no pt wishing and hoping. let's leave it to fate.

but i do hope it doesnt rain over there. it'll be such a wet blanket on our holiday moods! :S

yay! keegan's coming back to singapore next jan! :)

haven't seen him for so bloody long, though i doubt he hasnt changed much, other than for his accent. can't wait! :)

argh soon i'll need to go figure out my timetable for next sem le. damn it. xian. haiz.. i'm somehow dreading next sem and the semesters frm then on.. dunno why.

oh wells. will take it as it comes.

hope it stops raining (though it's great to take naps in such weather). but can't seem to go anywhere outdoors! and i do want to go out tmr. :)

2007-11-26T12:14:00.000+08:00

ARGH tax was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO difficult..

haiz. i feel lidat for almost all of my papers so far. except mb for one of my electives. this is a bad sign. mb i shld quit sch. i'm not suited for sch, i think. even accounting wasn't as bad as tax.

ok, so let's all pray for the bell curve distribution. i hope i dun fail or get C for tax. i'll be happy with a B or B-, i think. haiz. looks like i'm gonna get B for everything this sem. great. juz great. fantastic. superb.

and now there's still co law on wed. haiz. give me a break, will ya?

2007-11-23T19:21:00.001+08:00

had accounting exam today.

haiz. made careless mistakes. again. so irritating. and i couldnt find the stupid figures tht cost me 15 stupid marks. damn it!

haiz. oh wells. believe in the bell curve and believe tht there are people worse off than me. the best self-consolation i haf.

and then there's tax on monday.

gonna make it a distraction so tht i dun think abt accounting.

i spent almost one whole wk on accounting la. feel so dumb.

gonna relax a little. play some mindless games, haf a slow and un-rushed dinner, watch a movie. and then do a bit of tax at night.

k then, hopefully tax would be better. :)

2007-11-23T00:11:00.000+08:00

today's paper was ok, compared to yst's horrible paper. but i'm scared tht i wun be able to score well enough in the MCQ. haiz. oh wells. hopefully i can at least get a B+. at least this elective doesnt haf a report graded B to pull me back.

tmr's accounting! omg i was juz telling john that it feels like a marathon. tmr aftr accounting, i'm going to take a break for the rest of the day i think. can't take it. either gg to slp.. or watch movie on my comp or smth. haiz.

gonna be awfully lonely this wkend, though. spending it in hall again. and most of the people haf alr finished their exams, if not by tmr. so i'm like, one of the few that haf a few more papers left. but i can't wait till wed, when i'm entitled freedom for at least one whole month. well there's hall prod and other stuff i'm sure, but hey it's better than exam preparations or actually taking the exams.

i'm scared for accounting. cos the pattern in past yr papers has been irregular, except tht it doesnt really test master budget and process costing. and loads and loads of OA and agency probs. i've scanned thru all the exam papers but i'm not sure whether tht's enough. john said he was going to go thru the notes again. think i'll do tht too, to memorize some formats and mb standard answers abt agency probs. but will do that tmr.

for now, will do a little bit more of figuring stuff out before i go to bed and hopefully wake up earlier (at 8am) to study some more.

but i'm tired.. :(

NO! shan't give in. shall persevere..

until 1am, at least.

i knw i shldn't be blogging right now. it's a complete waste of time compared to the time tht could've been spent on studying, but if i dun do smth else other than studying, either my head'll explode or i wun be sane for long.

ok back to studying now.

juz hope i dun come out of the exam hall crying and sobbing. :(

hope i do ok.

2007-11-22T08:47:00.000+08:00

today i've got another exam. HG901 - Language Puzzle. which my senior said 'can get A one'. but i calculated my marks for the 2 quizzes held. they comprise of 40% of the total marks while the final exam consists of the last 60%. out of 40%, i only got 28.8%. which means to get an A(which i'm assuming is 75%), i need to get 45.2% out of 60%. which also means 77% out of 100. GOOD GAME. shld have S/U-ed it as well. WHY was i so confident that my GPA would be pulled up by these nonsensical electives?? WHY OH WHY??

haiz. and the worse thing is tht today i found out that the elective which exam was yst is a 4 AU subject. NOT a 3 AU one. which means higher weightage for GPA. which means i'm screwed. officially.

i hate my life.

FLUNKY-DUNK-DUNK

2007-11-21T22:19:00.000+08:00

argh. had my first quiz today and it sucked. BAD.

like, i shld have S/U-ed it when i had the chance la. so irritating. it was like, 60% worth of 5 essay-like qns (12 marks) each and then 40% of data analysis. then the worst (and the stupidest, may i add) thing is that they only allowed, like, one page (A4) paper of lines and then expect u to do a 12 mark question nicely. AND for 20 marks, they provided half a page of lines. GREAT. they somehow had this perception of us having teeny weeny microscopic handwriting tht needs to be understood only wiht a magnifying glass in their heads when they set the paper. and this is the first semester they're introducing this paper. so i'm like, the first batch. and alr the paper sucks. gd luck to the marking and the rest of the papers in the future years, man. hope u all die from marking.

and wht's worse (yes there's more to come) is that my grp report for tht elective was 20% worth of totla marks and we scored a freaking B. B for Bad, u know? damn it. did i mention that i shld haf S/U-ed it? for the 10% quiz, i got 88%. i repeat - 10%. tht's like, nothing. peanuts. or even less.

why did they make all the tutorials so freaking easy when the examination's so hard? so stingy on paper (wht, trying to save more trees? they're ALREADY dead, for gdness sake) and so general on the questions. e.g. ''The outcome of language contact is always unpredictable' Discuss.' ..

..WHAT THE HELL??

'Macro-sociological factors (such as industrialization and urbanization) is crucial to Language Shift. Discuss.'

GOSH. thk gdness i ain't no sociology student. but i think they dun haf crap like these either - i bet their stuff makes more sense.

haiz. oh wells. tmr got another elective, friday got accounting, next mon got tax and next wed got co law. still need to go thru like gdness knws a heap load of stuff for accounting and i dun think i'll haf enough time before the exam itself.

gd. another subject to flunky-dunk-dunk.

Yes. tht's wht i call it when i dun feel so gd abt the subject.

FLUNKY-DUNK-DUNK.

2007-11-20T14:09:00.000+08:00

tmr's my first paper! can u believe it? while many people are busy celebrating away aftr tmr (i knw some of my frenz are having their LAST paper tmr), or at least, they'll most prob be celebrating this wkend, i'll still be busy mugging for all my other papers!! :(

oh wells. better continue studying now. hmph.

BYE~~

2007-11-16T13:16:00.001+08:00

studying accounting in hall. decided to take a break and not go to the lib today. decided tht mb a lack of air con will do my nose good. juz hope i dun get lazy n fall aslp in hall. *strong suspicion*

so bored. i was thinking abt names tht i like. but almost all the names i think of are girls' names.

1. Justine
2. Justina
3. Delilah
4. Lila
5. Layla
6. xx Anne e.g. Mary Anne/Marie Anne
7. Kayleigh

haha i could go on forever. oh wells. juz for fun. hahaha. now it's time to get back to my studying. bleah.

2007-11-14T00:08:00.000+08:00

today marks the official start of the exam period.

at least, i think it is, unless there are sad cases of pple arnd who haf alr started taking their exams.

it's almost like a cycle thingy. i'll pass by every day thinking, 'ok i'm quite productive today cos i've done almost everything of wht i'm supposed to do for today'. but then at the end of the day, i feel like shit. i feel like i havent exactly done much or enough for the day. haiz. why is tht so?? i still feel bloody unprepared for all my papers. and they start next wk. i'm going to start on accounting tmr (finally!) aftr the last revision class last tues. gonna study tht all the way to sat/sun. and then mb i'll switch to smth else. i havent reli done many exam papers yet. so far onli one each for tax and co law. and the one i did for co law is the one for tutorial 12 la. aftr tht tutorial i went and re-did the tutorial as well as revised the chapters related to the qns. one thing for co law is tht there nvr seems to be enough time. even for a 5 mark qn, it asks for two aspects of a chapter. i mean, come on. either u ask less or u give more marks la.

tax is worse. i think everything i've studied so far has flown out of the window. and not to mention co law. i've alr forgotten wht was taught for the last chapter. not to mention the first few. and now tht i've revised some of the earlier chapters, i'm bound to forget it by the wed aftr next wk. like, 2 wks from now!! how to rmb!! madness.

haiz. gonna slp earlier. like, now. cos haf to wake up earli tmr to 'chope' places in the lib. sheesh. can't believe tht i'm juz like any other typical kiasu singaporean, 'chope-ing' for seats. gosh. the horror of it all. c wht uni does to u? and today i got pushed twice by these two stupid ah tiongs who wanted to rush in. alamak.. scared wht? GPA alr 5.0 or higher, if possible. dun worry la. sure got seats for u one. *rolls eyes* anw he was behind me in the queue. dumb ass. stupid china people. hate them. can't think of one i like la. mb becos my course doesnt haf any. (thk gdness for tht)

anw naf came over today. had fun. let's do it smth again soon k, babe? but muz study more, okie?? next wk will be exam wk for me le. no longer watching others struggle harder than me cos i will soon be one of them. but not enough to be an ah-tiong, of cos. muahahha.

2007-11-09T10:50:00.000+08:00

I was young but I wasn't naive
I watched helpless as he turned around to leave
And still I have the pain I have to carry
A past so deep that even you could not bury if you tried

After all this time
I never thought we'd be here
Never thought we'd be here
When my love for you was blind

But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go

I would fall asleep
Only in hopes of dreaming
That everything would be like it was before
But nights like this it seems are slowly fleeting

They disappear as reality is crashing to the floor
After all this time I never thought we'd be here
Never thought we'd be here
When my love for you was blind

But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go

After all this, why
Would you ever wanna leave it
Maybe you could not believe it
That my love for you was blind

But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you will ever know
A part of me died when I let you go

That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go

=Blind=
-Lifehouse-

2007-11-07T23:59:00.000+08:00

haiz. not mugging hard enough. and exam's are like, really soon. i keep thinking tht i'm almost ready for the exams. but i knw tht i'm not! i mean, i treated it as though i'm almost done for tax becos i juz had a midterm test the wk before last wk and it covered all the chapters for the second half of the semester. so i keep telling myself tht i dun need to study tht hard for those chapters, tht now i need to focus on the front chapters. which i've done 'deductions'. so wht's really impt (i feel) is the chapter on 'capital allowancse'. i'm gonna try to finish it by today (though i doubt i can do it) and then try to do exam papers tmr.

i guess the real shock will kick in once i realize tht i dunno how to do the exam papers. i juz knw it'll happen. juz need to properly realize it, i think. haiz. denial. self-denial. humans. inextricable links.

ANW, tmr's deepavali. so happy deepavali (or diwali) to everyone out there! yups. will be gg to a fren's house tmr evening onwards but need to leave hall at arnd 4 plus cos taking a ride from my fren leon to tht other fren's house. gotta be at novena at 6.30pm. haha so far, rite? might as well go to the place myself la. but oh wells. a ride is better than nothing. and plus leon'll be going back hall aftr the celebrations thingy, so he can drop me off at my hall as well. save on the cab fare, too. good. saving money is always gd. then he can drop saira off too since she leaves nearby hall as well. then i wun be bored on the way back. leon's funny though. can keep me awake and talking (alive and kicking) the whole way back. so it shld be fun. except tht my workload and revision timetable will be weighing down heavily on me. i can juz imagine my subjects as animate objects, watching me and breathing down my neck.

i had a nightmare today, while i was taking a nap. see y i'm so worried? the exams're coming and still, i'm taking afternoon naps. plus i will haf to go home on fri night. waste of time again! shit. half of this wk has alr come and gone. i bet the next wk will pass by even faster. WHOOSH - it'll go.

anw, abt my nightmare. i've nvr been someone who's suited for guilt. as in, i dun think i've ever carried guilt on my shoulders for perhaps, more than one day? or mb even an hour max. but i feel guilty towards this one person. juz this one. and it hasn't subsided since 1++ yr ago. coming to 2 yrs, i think.

i haf a lot of guy frenz. and some platonic relationships (like it or not) will haf misunderstandings arising from the closeness of the two people. either misunderstandings from the outside world or misunderstandings within the two people. guys and girls - can't they ever be juz friends? or can they? i've had a lot of neutral guy frenz. but i guess he was different. mb i led him on. but we were frenz for so long. more than 2 yrs. he was my companion to tide me over my jc times. he was a great companion. i'm saying all this cos i knw he wouldnt read it. i dunno if anyone would, seeing tht my post is so long for one of the rare times, but i guess i juz needed to get it off my chest.

so as i was saying, things didnt work out btwn the two of us cos the basis of the relationship changed. it wasn't friendship anymore and it wasn't a mutual feeling either. got scared like the stupid girl i was, i turned him down. but i guess there was smth abt the way everything ended.

juz felt tht smth was left hanging. i knw i owe him an apology. and even though i gave it to him, i still feel tht way aftr so long. but juz to say it again: sorry.

the nightmare i had was mb an excerpt from all those scenes i imagined in my head when reading those psycho-thriller books. i dreamt tht we were all grown up and tht i saw him but couldnt recognize him. it was funny, cos i was looking at the whole scene from an outsider's POV, even though one of the characters in the dream was me. so it was like looking at ur life from another POV. somewht. so anw i (as the onlooker) recognized him straightaway but the other me didn't. and the other me, as i said, was all grown up and had my own family alr. no husband to be seen (god, pls dun let it be a sign), but i was with my young beautiful daughter. i actually dun rmb how my 'daughter' looks like, but i'm assuming she'll be beautiful. hahaha.

and the onlooker me saw how he made frenz with both my daughter and i. but as the onlooker i knew he was abt to take revenge on me thru my daughter. haiz. then it ended there.

the nightmare.

must haf been one hell of a guilt trip.

2007-11-05T23:27:00.000+08:00

There's no time for us.
There's no place for us.
What is this thing that builds our dreams,
then slips away from us?

Who wants to live forever?
Who wants to love forever?
Forever.
When love must die.

Touch my tears with your lips.
Touch my world with your fingertips.
Then we can love forever.
Forever..

+Who Wants To Live Forever+

2007-11-03T12:07:00.000+08:00

it starts today.

2007-10-31T18:49:00.000+08:00

two down, one more to go.

one more test on friday and then i'm done with tests.

if u think tht's gd, think again.

'cos it means it's time for the exams instead.

the EXAMS!!

they're coming!!

haiz. i shld nvr haf missed the phonetics lect for my elective. they gave SO MANY questions on tht la. n i didnt knw how to do most of it. damn it.

gg to do accounting tutorial today and then mb tmr will attempt the co law exam paper to be discussed this fri, during lect. but tmr need to study my elective exam, which shouldnt be as hard as studying for the tax one, i presume.

speaking of which, i got quite a few mistakes for tax, but i'm not reli sad abt it. tht's cos i somewht understand most of it alr. most of my mistakes, too. i onli made this 'regross' error way too many times. so almost half of my wrong answers are becos of tht. but it's ok. i understand it now.

so let's juz hope i can rmb it for the exam.

but for now, going to try to unwind a little first.

i think i deserve juz a little relaxation. will start studying at 10-11pm. :)

2007-10-30T23:52:00.000+08:00

saturation point reached.

at least, i think so.

tax is a killer. mb becos i'm studying somewht in preparation of the exam instead of the test tmr. or rather, today, aftr 7 min.

gonna go back hall soon. leon gonna drop me off in hall. tired.

really sick of studying for tax la. true, i've finished studying for all the chapters covered in the test, but i dun feel like i'm ready. haiz.

plus i've got my elective test tmr. at 3.30pm. i'm done studying for all the chapters covered in THAT test, too. but i dun feel i'm ready either. juz gonna leave it to memory's mercy aftr the tax quiz ends at 12.30pm. dunno if i'll go back hall aftr tht or stay in sch to study for the test. but most prob will go back to hall to rest a little while before memorizing some facts and numbers.

haiz. gonna go back hall and still try to study for tax a little bit more. so tht i wun feel so bad even if i fail the test tmr. gonna read the relief from double taxation notes and mb textbk on the parts i dun understand.

xian. can't wait for this wk to be over.

then again, it's a whole new cycle next wk. bet on it.

2007-10-29T23:21:00.000+08:00

ever heard of fergie's 'big girls don't cry'?

nice song. but it's so hard to follow tht piece of advice. guess i'm not tht strong yet. 'cos i scalded my fingers today accidentally with hot (BOILING) water. yes, how dumb, u might think. oh wells. it feels better now, but it stung like mad earlier in the afternoon.

i finished revising the lect notes for last wk's accting lect. but havent started on the tutorial yet. i looked at the first qn & didnt knw how to do it. but i figured out aftr a while that it's becos i was panicking and didnt really think thru wht i was doing. cos i haf two tests on wed. and i dun feel prepared for either.

i'm supposed to study for my elective test, which will be held on wed, today. i'm still on the first chapter. haiz. wonder if i'll ever finish by tonight. but i haf to, cos i wun haf time at all on wed and i haf to study for tax tmr. it'll be my last dash to the halfway mark. it's not even the finishing line yet but still, it's an achievement.

then i'll probably get my co law assignment back this wed morning, too. wht a terrible shock to go thru so earli in the morning. to get a B. i'm not exactly the most optimistic person arnd, as u haf probably noticed.

co law assignment was an individual thing, u knw? and i dun think i spent much effort on it. i think i spent more effort for last assignment for biz law and i onli got a B+ i think. haiz. dreading wed!!

and i'm lagging behind every single subject!! why is tht so? somehow (as a little and minor consolation to myself) i think tht tax isnt tht bad cos by giving us the test this late means tht we'd have to somewht sit our butts down and revise for the final exam in a way. accounting is all right but i think it's only ok by chapter. meaning tht i'll be damn confused when everything's mixed up together, as it's supposed to be.

then co law. alamak tht one even worse. i scrape thru every wk of tutorial and lect and then i forget abt it the very next week (if not day). even though it's a open bk, i'm so scared that on the day itself i'll probably tear the pages off the bk and use them as tissue paper for my tears. was tht the original purpose of open-bk examinations? maybe.

i need to get thru this wk. it's giving me a headache. a bad one, at tht.

studying with pow aftr acct lect tmr in the lib. wait till his dad comes to fetch him home. he lives like, damn far la. tampines. poor thing. hopefully tmr will be more productive.

*crosses fingers*

tht somehow nvr works, i think, but i do it all the same.

why do people do things that they know won't work? is it against our nature to be so rebellious against life?

if onli i had the answers i probably would sipping a margherita in bed and reading a storybk by James Patterson (who is an excellent author by the way).

aftr the exams i'm gonna go to the lib and stock up on his books and then work on hall prod. 'cos i'm rather excited abt tht, too.

but all this will haf to wait. sadly, but true.

2007-10-29T12:53:00.001+08:00

oh gosh. i need to save money.

not only for now. but for the future.

i'm so gonna get a beemer. it's so freaking cool. (thx for the inspiration, marc. haha. )

it shld be abt $180k - 200k (the cheaper ones at least) without COE. but worth every. single. cent.

ok, so it shld take me 5 yrs without eating or buying anything.

hm.

mb not.

hahaha. it was nice thinking abt it anw.

2007-10-25T00:00:00.001+08:00

3 times in a day..

well well, tht's a first.

mb instead of 'no way, jose'.. it shld be 'have it your way'..

it takes two hands to clap, right? so in an argument, does it matter who apologizes first?

mb the one who initiated the clap?

i dunno. u tell me.

2007-10-22T21:26:00.000+08:00

i juz realized how much i love watching videos of pple figure skating.

they're so.. graceful and.. pretty out there.

ok so i sound like i'm on drugs and running high with clouds surrounding my head, but i assure u, i'm not. really, you ought to go watch it.

this little realisation came from aftr watching the disney movie - ice princess. it's not really a bimbo movie, and it's quite touching towards the end, too. so i would give it 3 and 1/2 stars out of 5. but who's asking, rite? haha but the skating.. my gdness. fantastic.

wht wouldn't i give to be able to skate like tht.

then again, i'll need a lot of money and a lot of time. things i dun haf. esp since i spent my time watching tht show over dinner instead of doing my accounting tutorial like i was supposed to.

k then, cya~

2007-10-22T16:25:00.000+08:00

stupid teachers who can't count. so it turns out tht i DO haf 3 quizzes in a row. hooray.

why do i even bother?

xian..

tmr gg out with naf and ben and marie and jz. :)

but tht means i need to do a lot of stuff today. cos i haf 2 presentations this wk, too.

it's a miracle tht pple keep themselves sane above all this craziness.

but miracles, as we all knw, dun happen often.

2007-10-18T21:49:00.000+08:00

tired. xian. exams coming but still got 2-3 more tutorials to clear. haiz.

nvm i will survive. i thought i had 3 quizzes in one wk two wks from now. but it turns out that the teacher got the date wrong. so i onli haf 2. haha. er. hooray.

then i've got an elective assignment due and we HAVE NOT started yet. except to do the survey. other than tht, we havent even assigned duties yet.

and y are there free loaders every way u go? i mean, come on. dun u feel ashamed of doing practically nth?? sheesh. gawd, this muz be how life is.

anw, i juz realized the nice songs are usually old songs. no wonder i've recently taken a liking to listening to Class 95.

2007-10-15T16:08:00.000+08:00

have u ever noticed? the blogger icon looks a lot like the bossini new icon, except tht one's orange and the other's green.

oh wells.

haiz. i'm feeling damn xian la. supposed to be reading tax but i totally dun haf any mood to study, despite being in the lib. and exams are coming soon, too. damn it!

and i'm supposed to do my accounting tutorial and finish up my co law tutorial. thank gdness i'm done with the textbk and notes but it's so confusing tht i think i juz might have to read thru it all over again. at least to skim thru it.

damn it!

i'm in the lib and using my fren's laptop while he's attending another lect and there's smth wrong with the spacebar key. it's not lagging - it's juz not sensitive, esp since i like tapping it frm the sides. it only works all right if i tap it in the middle. and even then sometimes it doesnt work.

damn it!

i hate fighting with people. but sometimes things juz happen. is there reli such a thing as fighting over smth stupid? isnt it true that the first reaction is always the truest one? or is it juz the most impulsive one?

though impulsive as first reactions may be, why bother changing the way you feel by suppressing ur initial feelings and thru some manipulative logic and reasoning, turn them into smth else? smth else not worth mentioning in the sense that u juz smile and get it over with?

dun think i'm mad. cos i ain't. i was juz wondering abt the way things in life are. and mb how things in life should be. but then again, how does one determine wht they 'shld' be? 'shld' being the most correct thing to do?

once again, i require enlightenment.

damn it!

damn it all to hell.

2007-10-12T21:17:00.000+08:00

realized i've been bringing the wrong things back home to study. for e.g. i'm always bringing tax back home to try to study. but it's so hard to study at home! so from now on, i shall bring those less taxing subjects home.

which means, probably everything else except taxation. muahaha.

need to do the following:
1. read up on 'securities' for co law since i slept in today and missed my lect. boohoo.
2. compile the survey results for the HG220 research paper which would be due in week 13.
3. accounting proj which would be due NEXT WED. *gasps*
4. accounting t8 optional qns
5. accounting t9 and l9 review
6. relief from double taxation review and qns - need to read the stupid textbk for this. bleah.
7. omg. i've actually run out of things to do. wht a surprise. (hint: quick, act shocked)

it's ok, i will handle it with stride and absolutely will not, i repeat, not panic.

.
.
.
.

ARGHZ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

HOW TO FINISH EVERYTHING IN THREE DAYS?????????????????

then again, i onli need to get my accounting proj and relief from double taxation done by monday. which doesnt sound so bad.

damn xian. i got accounting proj meeting this sun at 10am in the bloody earli morning at bloody far bukit batok. haiz. and i'm alr at home. but still, i will go home. i simply cannot stand the toilets on sunday nights. but then again, since i'll be at bukit batok discussing proj till gdness knws wht time, i would probably (& might as well) go back hall on sunday. which means i will still have to face the stupid and disgusting toilets. *wails*

ok. i have decided. i shall go home tmr and on sunday too, aftr the proj. and then i shall go to sch earlier on monday before tax class. *nods heads in satisfaction*

tht is, if mummy's willing to drive me to school on monday morning. :)

gotta do the 'pls, pls, pretty, pls' routine. hehe.

2007-10-10T18:10:00.000+08:00

i've been a naughty girl again!

i've skipped my HG801 elective lect again!

been going for tht lect on and off for every alt wk. not jking. i'm serious. haiz. and i didn't S/U it. better go for the next few lessons before they end n it's all too late. tht's it.

NO MORE AFTERNOON NAPS ON WED.

k better go do my proj research now. haiz. meeting tmr to discuss. my only free day.. :( looks like it's gonna be a long day tmr.. and it's gonna be a long day on friday too.. haiz. :(

and exams are coming~~

wht's there to smile abt these days?

2007-10-06T12:42:00.000+08:00

argh. screwed up my a/cing quiz. xian... there goes 20%. :(

2007-10-05T23:41:00.001+08:00

arghz i realized i left my thumbdrive in FAL today!! haiz. why lidat?? and this HAD to happen the day before the test.

damn it. this muz be a bad sign. i dun think there's any way of getting it back le.

SHIT the worst thing is tht they're closing the FAL tmr cos of the stupid quiz.

this muz be a bad sign. haiz.

oh wells, at least i didnt lose my mp3 player instead.

TOUCHWOOD! CHOY~~

haiz. oh wells. gonna get back to studying. and the hall office better repair my fan speed fast. it's bloody sweltering hot in here~~

wish me good luck for my test tmr~

2007-10-05T21:41:00.001+08:00

still studying for accounting quiz.. xian..

but juz called home and made arrangements to go back tmr in the evening!! then can take the time in the afternoon to either A) slp or B) do my accounting t8. but i dun think i'll zzz the whole day (at least, i think so), so i'll probably take a nap aftr i get back to hall from the quiz, which will end at arnd 11 latest. and hopefully i wun be crying my way back. :S

then aftr my nap i'll prob take a bath and then watch the online lect they posted up for e-learning. then mb attempt the tutorial if i haf time.

then do tax on sunday and here's the best part: i wun haf to go back hall on sunday!!! i can stay for the night at HOME SWEET HOME and my mummy will drive me to school on monday, before my tax class!! muahahah. SWEET.

k then gotta go back to studying my test. whew. i survived this wk. tht leaves today and tmr, but hey, at least i got the co law assignment and tax quiz outta the way. btw, i hope tht i didnt fail the tax quiz.. haiz. got a few qns wrong alr lor and i think got more that tht few wrong. :(

okie, can't wait to go home! miss everyone!

oh, and the tv, of cos.

SWEET.

2007-10-05T01:20:00.000+08:00

I've been awake for a while now
You make me feel like a child now
'Cause every time I see your bubbly face
I get the tinglies in a silly place

It starts in my toes
Makes me crinkle my nose
Wherever it goes
I always know

That you make me smile
Please stay for a while now
Just take your time
Wherever you go

The rain is falling on my window pane
But we are hiding in a safer place
Under covers staying safe and warm
You give me feelings that I adore

It starts in my toes
Make me crinkle my nose
Wherever it goes
I always know

That you make me smile
Please stay for a while now
Just take your time
Wherever you go

What am I going to say
When you make me feel this way
I just

mmmmm

And it starts in my toes
Makes me crinkle my nose
Wherever it goes
I always know

That you make me smile
Please stay for a while now
Just take your time
Wherever you go

I've been asleep for a while now
You tuck me in just like a child now
'Cause every time you hold me in your arms
I'm comfortable enough to feel your warmth

And it stats in my soul
And I lose all control
When you kiss my nose
The feeling shows
'cause you make me smile baby

Just take your time now
Holdin' me tight

Wherever wherever wherever you go
Wherever wherever wherever you go

wherever you goI always know
'Cause you make me smile
Even just for a while

=Bubbly=
=Colbie Caillat=

2007-10-04T22:08:00.000+08:00

yay new blogskin~~ polka dots~~ haha did it all in half an hour's time.

as in, took a template from blogskins.com la.. but hey, better than nth, right. haha one day someone's gonna haf to teach me how to make my own blogskin. haha.

haiz. studying accounting now. better get back to it ba. got test on sat morn. damn xianz.

'till then~

2007-09-29T00:22:00.000+08:00

haiz i'm so slow in my studying progress~~ but it's not like i've been slacking! i slept at 4 last night. woke up at 11 today. got to the lib aftr lunch at arnd 12.30pm. started studying at 1.30pm aftr dilly-dallyying. but i've onli gotten thru one chapter of tax!!

haiz. tmr almost half my day will be spent outside. so i either study late tonight again, or i slp earli tonight and wake up earli tmr. but i haf serious doubts abt me waking up earli even if i slp earli. haiz. so i guess i shld try to finish up 'income' chapter by tonight and start a little (hopefully almost half) on 'deductions'..

HG220 research paper is so troublesome. one minute we're fixed on our own idea, next we're swayed by our professor to make a tough choice. haiz. dun ask - it's a loooong story and i dun reli haf the time nor energy to go into the details.

i'm not even gg home this wkend~~ can u believe it? but my mum coming over this wkend, i think. or mb next wk, during a wkday. to come and see me and give me chicken essence and whtnot, i suppose. but i dun mind. i like seeing and toking to her often. but i juz can't study at home. argh the dilemma is killing me.

haiz. oh well. hopefully i get to finish my accounting tutorial optional qns by tonight and then finish up my income. shld be able to finish my accounting by 1.30am and then my income by 2am (only left the qns to revise so shld be quite a fast process). aftr tht i'm gonna read up a bit on my deductions and then i'm going to slp. tmr morn i'll decide or not whether to go to the lib to study or to stay in hall to study.

i hope the hall toilets wun get too dirty. but i think it will. cos next mon signals the end of the recess wk, so everyone else who went home for the break shld all be coming back by sunday, in fact. then they'll all dirty and wet the toilets like nobody's biz. i dun understand why they haf to be wet and yucky and disgusting. and i wish the cleaners would come back on wkends to clean the toilets. they dun haf to clean anything or anywhere else - juz the toilets will suffice. but i guess the hall office and authorities find it an 'unnecessary' expense - to pay cleaners to come down on wkends. wht kind of welfare are they offering??

then again, i'd rather haf a common toilet than an attached one to my room, like the rooms in halls 1 and 2. tht'll mean i'd haf to clean the toilet myself. ew. haha. so i guess i can't complain. *shrugs*

oh well, 'till then~

P.S. hopefully i wun fall sick. too many things gg on alr. can't afford to fall sick, man.

P.P.S. i think the professional photographs tht all of us took for some resume thingy are gg to be sent to us soon. i hope they made me look gd (though i doubt it). bleah. :P

2007-09-27T23:40:00.000+08:00

my gdness. it's kiasu-ness to its max in NTU. NTU's full of tht. oh, and queueing, of cos. queueing for buses, food, even ATMs..

juz a few days late for some registration thingy and voila, there goes the spots. limited vacancies, i guess. even for the hair styling workshop. sheesh. and there was another talk by the hospitality sector. i think the email was sent to our accounts juz yst and as i checked my mail juz today afternoon, the spaces were all taken up. my gdness.

oh i juz realized smth v insignificant. i seldom (if nvr) use the right shift key of the keyboard. i almost always use the left. i dun rmb myself ever using the right one lei. haha. tht's weird. think it's the wrong way of typing. but oh wells.

had a bad headache juz now while studying. dunno why. feels better now, aftr tht shower i took. but still haf a little part of it lurking arnd somewhere, waiting to pounce on me. hmmm realized today tht i've got lots to study for tax. i juz finished the tutorial for next wk today and gg to revise properly for the quiz. but i dunno how to study for it. mb do the exercises the tutor did in class all over again ba. try to do it without help and then refer to the answers? hmmm mb. hopefully (though i doubt it) i can finish it by tmr. but i dun think it takes juz one and a half days to study finish. hmmm so mb it'll eat into my sat, too.

SHIT i juz realized tht almost the whole of my sat will be taken up. hmmm. tht leaves sat morning and sunday. i almost nvr do work in the morning. so tht means i'm left with friday and sunday. :(

and i've still got co law assignment to do. but thk gdness next wk is e-learning wk. so i'll haf tues free, on top of my usual free day on thurs. two days free.. hopefully, along with the other snippets of free time, i'll be able to finish up my work and finish studying for the quizzes. jiayou! i haf almost all the tutorials done. except for the last 2 questions for accounting one. think i'll do it now ba. so dun haf to worry abt it when it comes. but it looks hard. haiz. oh wells.

*sings* i will survive~

2007-09-24T15:44:00.000+08:00

xian. today's weather is so freaking hot. i wish singapore would snow.

hmmm got some pasar malam at boon lay interchange again. saw some nice looking stuff there. esp the food. i love pasar malam food. haha dunno y.

pasar malam, anyone? :)

haiz. gotta get down to studying alr. i juz got back from home not too long ago and i didnt do anything today since the moment i woke up at 11am. yst i managed to finish my co law and now i juz haf to write in the answers properly for t7. aftr tht i'm gonna either study some accounting, or revise my co law on directors' duties. so as to do the assignment which is due next friday. long way, it seems, till next friday. but i knw and i bet a lot of pple knw, tht next friday will come and go so fast we wun even see it fly past. this is wht happens in uni. time flies.

i realized wht my fav activity is, out of so many things to do on earth. it's to go out on the streets, shopping, eating and whtever else nonsense there is to it. haha. so.. common. mb next time i'll think of a more exotic fav activity.. like.. hmm.. i'll tell u when i think of it.

2007-09-20T05:54:00.000+08:00

i seriously suck at playing mahjong.

it's either i nvr play it again. or i nvr play with money again. or i retreat from civilisation and go learn some superb mahjong skills from some mahjong master. u knw, like those ridiculous and far-fetched mahjong shows they always broadcast.

i hate losing money. esp when i'm broke. haiz. i shld've followed my horoscope. though i dun rmb exactly wht it was but i rmb it saying to be careful with my money. :(

somebody teach me mahjong, please?

2007-09-19T17:50:00.000+08:00

had the sudden urge yst to go to Vivo and have a little shopping spree there. but there are two main reasons why i can't go:

1. i am broke.

2. it's the recess wk next wk and as i've said before, recess wk means 'tests' and 'quizzes' coming up. so.. who would be in their right minds to go with me?? in fact, i'm not even sure if i am in the right mind to even think of going.

solutions:

1. just go window-shopping. (though it's a bit hard for me)

2. no solution available. becos u can't run away from studying.

haha guess wht? hall prod activities haf started. yizhi juz knocked on my door to ask me to go down to help them pack stuff if i'm free. i didnt even freaking know of this little promotional or canvassing event. no email was passed down either. so i dunno if i'm gonna go. i shld've juz left my door closed and studied quietly in the room, but the weather today is juz toooo freaking warm. i usually bathe in the evening again becos it's wht everyone shld do, but now is one of those rare times when i haf the URGE to bathe. my gdness. and i actualli dun mind bathing with cold water rite now, though my neighbour juz came back from a bath and told me that there's hot water now. so why was it tht there wasnt hot water at 6.30pm the other time when i bathed??

life's juz not fair.

anw i've set my mind from earlier to do my accounting tutorial. i dun even knw where or when the station is held. they're going door-to-door to sell tidbits and then how am i gg to find them? no details, no nth. really ar, wht kind of planning is this? for once i feel tht even andy (the foc chair) did a better job of planning. this is the diff of having a senior and a junior running things. i've seen it all before and it's happening all over again. really. dun pple ever learn?